


A Day's Diversion

by vulpineRaconteur



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-25
Updated: 2016-04-25
Packaged: 2018-06-04 10:02:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6653410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vulpineRaconteur/pseuds/vulpineRaconteur
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zevran Arainai has been so busy with Skyhold's finest hotties, that perhaps, he thinks, he could use a day off.  When he decides to help Sera get her girl, he might be biting off more than he can chew.</p>
<p>Part of "Zevran Does Skyhold'</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Day's Diversion

Zevran yawned and took a long drink from his tea. It would not do to fall asleep in the great hall of Skyhold, no matter how great his exertions on behalf of the Inquisition have been. It was a quiet mid-morning and, as he had no pressing business for the day, he was wondering how he might entertain himself.

It was then that he noticed the tall, obnoxious elf woman who ran with the Inquisitor entering the room. Sera, that was her name. She was walking deliberately up the center of the hall, bound for the door to the Undercroft, but before she opened it, she hesitated, said something under her breath, and quickly walked away again. Halfway down the hall, she turned around and headed back to the door, cursing more audibly now. She repeated this several times before Zevran cleared his throat. She jumped and shouted “What the fuck!”, a look of panic on her face.

“Forgive me for startling you,” Zevran said as he stood from the table and approached her. She was in a strange stance, as though she had reached for her weapons but came up empty-handed. “Sera, yes? Leliana introduced us.”

“Oh, right,” Sera said, drawing out the first syllable. _Ohhhhh, right._ She relaxed her stance. “You were in the Blight with her?”

Zevran gave a small bow. “Zevran Arainai, former Antivan Crow, current free agent assassin, momentarily wondering exactly what you can’t make up your mind about in the Undercroft.”

“That’s!” Sera said, blushing. “That is _none_ of your business!”

Zevran smirked. “If I may guess, there’s someone down there you find very interesting? Someone, you hope, might find you interesting, too?”

She put her fists on her hips and glared at him. “What did I say about your business, and this being none of it?”

He held up his hands and took a step back. “Of course, I apologize. Only I am a very talented flirt, and currently a very bored one, too, so I only want to offer my time and skills, if you wish to make use of them.”

“I _wish_ you’d piss off!”

“At once,” he said, and turned to leave.

Just then, the door to the Undercroft opened, and a cheerful dwarven face appeared. “Oh, Sera! Would you mind doing me a small favor?” The woman extended a folded piece of paper and Sera took it wordlessly. “Can you get that to Leliana please? I’d do it myself but I’m in the middle of—Zevran?”

He recognized her as she said his name, though ten years separated him from the last time they’d met. He smiled, laying on the charm. “Dagna of Kinloch Hold.”

Dagna laughed. “Oh, not for years! I didn’t know you were—” She was interrupted by a bang from the room behind her. Her face brightened. “We’ll catch up later, alright?” She disappeared.

Slowly Sera turned to Zevran. Her eyes narrowed. “She knows you?”

Zevran picked an invisible speck from his shirt. “Certainly. I met her during the Blight, too.” He met her eyes and smiled. Sera frowned, her eyebrows forming a sharp angle on her face. “Are you reconsidering my offer?”

Sera chewed her lip. He wondered what was at work in her mind, what factors were being considered and discarded. In the end, she had a grim look on her face, like she wasn’t sure if she’d regret this later. “Alright, fine, you can, ugh, help me out. I’m gonna deal with this.” She gestured at him with Dagna’s message. “Then I’ll meet you at the tavern, alright? My room’s on the second floor. And I swear, if anyone sees you going in there—”

“Don’t worry, I have seen you training in the yard. I wouldn’t dare cross you.”

A lie, obviously, but she brightened. “That’s right you wouldn’t. Ten minutes.”

 

+

 

It was simple enough for Zevran to sneak across the roof of the tavern and into Sera’s window. She was already there, pacing and wringing her hands. She glared at him. “This is stupid.”

“I can go any time you wish,” he said. As much fun as this was likely to be, he wasn't about to force his company on her.

“Nodon’t!” she said, holding out her hands. She sighed. “I probably need your help. I don’t know what to _do_. I’ve never had to try so hard. I like someone, usually she likes me back. And if she doesn’t catch on or doesn’t, you know, feel the same way or whatever, I forget about her and move on.” Her expression was strained. She covered it with her hands. “It’s different this time. I can’t stop thinking about her, I can’t—ugh, I’m so stupid.”

“Not to worry, my friend,” Zevran said. He patted her arm sharply. “You’ll have her naked and shaking in your arms in no time.”

“Ohhhhh Andraste’s dirty drawers, what have I gotten myself into?” She dragged her hands down her face and looked at him from between her fingers. “Well? What should I do?”

“Tell me first what you have already tried. What methods have you used to woo her?”

“Er...methods?”

“Yes, your techniques, your strategies, your moves, so to speak, that you use to attract a woman.”

“Errrrm...?” She trailed off, looking at him expectantly. Zevran pursed his lips.

“I see.”

“Oh fuck off, who cares if I don’t have any moves?”

“Dagna, it would seem.”

“...Shit.”

Zevran looked around the room. He said “aha!” and picked up a well-worn lute from its place on the window seat. “A romantic ballad is the first step into anyone’s heart. You play, I assume?”

Sera looked at the instrument in his hands. “Erm...yes. Yes, I can. Yes!”

“Excellent!” He handed her the lute and smiled. “This will be easier than I thought.”

It turned out he’d spoken too soon. It attracted Dagna’s attention, to be sure, but only because she heard the racket from behind the thick stone door to the Undercroft and came out to ask if everything was alright. Before Zevran could step out of his hiding place to smooth it over, Sera blurted out “It’s a prank! On Solas!” Pretty good cover, overall, because Sera’s aggressive rendition of “The Naughty Elven Cowherd” felt, to Zevran, like a joke someone was trying to pull.

“Well that’s...very funny, Sera,” Dagna said, “but I’m in the middle of something, and it’s really distracting, so could you—”

Sera shouted “Surenoproblem!” and fast-walked out of the hall. Zevran followed and stopped her short in the entryway.

“You said you could play the lute!” he hissed at her.

“I _was_ playing!” He looked at her, hands on hips. “Alright, well, you didn't ask if I was any good.”

“Of course,” Zevran sighed, “it’s my fault for assuming you wouldn’t think it wise to woo someone by screeching a dirty song at them while abusing an innocent lute.”

Sera tossed her hair back. “Well, I forgive you.”

Zevran laughed. “How generous! Come, let us think. I’m sure you have some other talent that will grab Dagna’s attention.”

 

+

 

Three burnt-black pies. A vase of flowers, shattered on the stairs. Seven poems so awful that Zevran felt obligated to burn them himself. A rabbit that chewed a hole in its enclosure and returned to the mountains and anyway, was a wild rabbit really the sort of animal to give as a pet? These and a dozen other gifts or gestures were tried and failed, and Zevran was starting to think that even he had his limits. Some people, perhaps, could not be helped.

He sat in Sera’s window seat, staring out at the courtyard and fantasizing about how his day would be going if only Isabela had walked into the great hall instead. Sera was face-down on the floor, looking defeated. Suddenly she sat up, a huge smile on her face.

“Wait wait! I know! I have these fire arrows that—”

“No!” Zevran said sharply, a look of panic on his face. “No more fire!”

Sera sighed and fell back to the floor with a thump. Zevran stood and climbed out onto the roof. “I'm going for a walk,” he said, thinking that if she changed her mind on that fire arrow plan, he wanted to be as far from her as possible.

It was just turning from day to dusk, and he slunk through the shadows around the castle into the garden. It was empty. He stretched out on a bench and closed his eyes. “What a mess,” he said.

“What mess?”

He opened his eyes and as Dagna entered the garden. She had a tired, but triumphant, look on her face. She sat on the bench next to him and sighed. “I just got out of a mess of my own. Maybe I can help with yours.”

He smiled privately. “If I think of a way, I will let you know.”

“Well, you know me,” she said. “I live to be useful.”

They were both silent for a moment, soaking up the calm of the garden, before Dagna spoke again. “So Zevran, um, Sera’s pretty fun, huh?”

Zevran thought his heart stopped beating for a moment. He leaned forward and turned to look at Dagna. She was smiling, with a certain sheepishness around the eyes. “That is,” he said, “one word for her, yes.”

Dagna looked down at her hands, and—yes, yes! by all the gods of elves and men!—she was blushing. “Others might be, strong, kind, thoughtful, witty, um, beautiful.” She looked up at him, and as a lewd smile slid onto his face, she laughed.

“Well, well,” he said, feeling like himself for the first time in hours. “It seems the lovely Sera has caught your eye. Have you made any efforts to catch hers?”

“I don't know. No. I'm just so busy, with all my work.” She sighed. “Who has time for getting a girl to like you?”

“Ah, Dagna.” He took her hand and squeezed it between both of his. “I may have just the thing. But! We will have to talk strategy.” He let go of her and hopped to his feet. “Let us meet in the library, after I gather a few things. That quiet corner at the back, to make sure we aren’t disturbed. Half an hour?”

“Uh, sure thing!” she said. “Half an hour. I need to change out of these smelly work clothes anyway.”

“Yes, good idea!” Zevran said, walking backwards across the garden to keep her in his sight. “Perhaps you might wash up a bit, too.”

“Okay?” she said, as he disappeared up the steps to the battlements.

 

+

 

Sera didn’t know what Zevran was cooking, but she was too tired argue. It was all feeling pretty pointless, trying, because if this fucker couldn’t get Dagna to notice her, it probably wasn’t possible. But why not play along, she supposed, on the off chance?

But when she got to the quiet back corner of the library, she was confused. There were lit candles on the large square study table, along with some bread, cheese, fruit, a bottle of wine, and two glasses. She was staring at the table, trying to get what was going on, when Dagna walked out of the stacks across from her.

She looked gorgeous. Her face was pink like she’d just scrubbed it, her hair was in a sloppy bun at the back of her head, and her off-hours clothes were simple but…form-fitting. Sera felt her heart pounding in her ribs and had to fight the impulse to run.

Dagna was looking at the table in as much apparent confusion as Sera, but she was smiling when she met Sera’s eyes. “Did you do all this?”

“I was going to ask _you_ that,” Sera admitted.

Dagna looked back at the table, and plucked a folded piece of paper from the center. She opened it, read it over, and chuckled. “It figures,” she said, and showed it to Sera.

 

_Sometimes, it’s best to keep things simple. -Zev_

Sera laughed, relief seeping out from her chest to her limbs. “Keep things simple,” she said. “Why didn’t I think of that?” Dagna was looking at her, and Sera could sense her giddy nerves. A small voice in her mind said _oh she wants you bad._ Sera smiled with half her mouth and picked up the bottle.

“Thirsty?”

 

+

 

Solas was half-distracted as he approached the library, and almost ran straight into Zevran, leaning against the empty doorframe. “Pardon me,” he said, and tried to step around him. Zevran blocked Solas’ reach and shook his head. “Ex _cuse_ me?”

“Sorry, private party,” Zevran said.

Solas paused. “In the _library?_ ”

“Strange but true,” Zevran said, and threw on a charming smile. “Try back in, oh, an hour? Two maybe, if things are going well.” He sighed. “Maker, I hope things are going well.”

“I see,” Solas said. “I’ll leave you to it, then.”

Zevran watched Solas turn the corner just in time for him to miss the _very_ happy noise coming from the library. That was Zevran’s cue to leave. If they’d gotten that far, his work was done. As he walked away, he considered the ways he could reward himself for the day’s efforts. A strong drink at the tavern, he thought, and seeing where things went from there. Somewhere vigorous, he hoped. He’d earned it.


End file.
